“high high post post, i don’t brag i mostly boast”

i just got an email announcing Monica and Brandy’s reunion track, “It Belongs To Me”, and what can i say-i want to believe. they’ve shifted from fighting over an animate object (Mekhi Phiffer) to presenting a united front fighting for inanimate objects-including such poignant lyrics such as “...the Macbook, that shit’s all mine, so log out of your Facebook...” (and i paraphrase, because i couldn’t be bothered to listen to the end, let alone again. it’s precisely the kind of mess that i would be reviewing if i was still writing for that monthly magazine in Montrill. so, all that to say that none of us is above judgement, both giving and receiving. Carmen Bryan celebrates her right to equal opportunity judgement by calling out some other folks in her and Nas’ circle in her book, It’s No Secret:

“The first time was back in high school when Hasan decided to form a female rap group. Of course his position was to play the back. But I couldn’t rap! We called ourselves BWP, which stood for Bitches With Problems. Hasan knew that I couldn’t rap, but he insisted that my look was marketable, so I just went along with it. Our image was supposed to be a hard-core group, but my delivery wasn’t giving off that impression. I sounded more like Molly from AT&T customer service or something. I just wasn’t making the cut. We hung in there as long as we could, but the group eventually broke up and that was the end of my rap career.” (178)

“‘If You Had My Love,’ J.Lo’s first single, was playing on repeat. Puff’s significant other was in the living room and appeared to be just a down-to-earth, around-the-way girl wearing dark jeans and a ponytail.

Destiny shyly stuck to me like a magnet on steel. While I was talking to Paul Hunter, a video director, I noticed Puff eyeing me. There were complete paragraphs of shameless suggestions in every glance. I gave him a loaded look in return. Then I caught myself. What was I doing?

Back at the apartment later, Nas asked, ‘Carm, did Puff ever try to talk to you?’

‘No!” I answered.

‘Are you sure?’

“Positive,’ I answered with my fingers crossed.” (181)

yeesh. Kelis messed with Puff, Superhead was like this too, bringing out the connections between everyone. yuck.

“When I questioned Nas about the number, he said that Beyonce and Kelly flew in to appear in the video. He went on to say that Beyonce had a little crush on him and wanted to hook up before she flew out the next morning.

‘So, why didn’t you get up with her?’ I asked.

‘Cause, Carm, I mean, she’s a pretty girl and everything, but she’s mad young and I got respect for her pops. Matthew is my man and we are working together,’ he replied.

‘Pretty sure. What is the real reason? Beyonce is the bomb!’ I questioned.

‘Well, to be honest, I can’t take her breath. Yo, Carm, her breath is off the chain,’ he said, laughing.” (194)

so. she takes a passive-aggressive stab at Mrs. Carter. and aggressive-aggressive stabs at Kelis (commenting on her BO and her immature treatment of Destiny).

“Nas wasn’t so impressed. ‘You can take a girl like Foxy, put her in a bowl, add a few ingredients, mix it up, and come up with another hitmaker.’ Who did Nas think he was fooling? Foxy was a talented MC and Nas was just insecure. He wouldn’t have been working with her if that weren’t the case.” (108)

and there you have it. Nehal-the video with Eve in it wasn’t an accident, it was for you. it’s no Tambourine, but it’s pretty great.